don't make this inappropriate, people.

I love closeness. I love being pressed against another person. Granted, I retract that statement when I’m on a bus or a subway and someone is taking up my breathing room. But, as a general rule, I like being touched. Let’s not get dirty, here. Likewise, I want to touch everything. I like textures and the different feel of things. I like physical contact. If you look like you have nice, touchable hair or elbows or eyelashes, even, I’m gonna want to go for it. I won't, though. I try to respect personal space boundaries. But if I could, I would touch everyone. So when we’re squished together in the backseat of your car or you flop down beside me on the couch, I really don't mind.

maybe I'm anemic.

I've been exhausted all week. Why, you ask? I have no freaking idea. Really. I haven't done anything out of the ordinary. I haven't really done any strenuous exercise. So why, why, why am I so tired?? My mom suggested I might be anemic. So, naturally, I'm going with that. Now I don't know the first thing about anemia or if my symptoms match up, but humans generally like to have excuses so anemia will be mine this time around. Really, I'd much rather have a disease than be accurately diagnosed as a sloth- wouldn't you?
Moving on.
Spring is coming. I can feel it. And I am excited.
Next thing you know it'll be summer and I'll never ever be inside except for when I need to take a stroll down those refrigerated aisles of Smith's to get away from the hot hot Utah heat. But I ain't afraid. Do your worst, Utah. I just want to be warm for good.

KEEP CALM.

Patience is not a virtue of mine. I have a habit of making very sudden, very irrational decisions at a moment's notice. There is never any warning, either. I just think about something, get an idea into my head, and have to do it. I have to. If I don't follow through with these ideas, I'll go insane. It's ridiculous. I am ridiculous. I just need to learn to take a time out. Keep calm and carry on.

I get carried away.

I want to always be outside. I hate being shut up in my apartment for hours on end. Restless Bekah Syndrome is in full swing. So is Disenchanted Syndrome. Come on, baby, play me something like "Here Comes The Sun." This has been a disjointed post.

the married couple across the room...

they are quite similar in physical appearance. brown hair. glasses. wearing complimentary colors. they aren't particularly distinguishable. it fits. they look to be studying. happy just to sit together and do some schoolwork in the middle of a busy day. they look up every so often; say a few words, exchange smiles. two perfectly constructed puzzle pieces. the woman stands up to leave. she hesitates a moment, looking down at him. she pushes a piece of hair back into place behind his ear. such a tiny gesture. such a loud moment. no one else seems to notice. she bends over just enough to wrap her arms around his neck, kisses him on the top of the head. her lips move to form a few sentences. did she tell him she loved him? was she reminding him of a dinner invite that evening? or was she promising to kick his butt at tic-tac-toe upon her return? it doesn't matter much. he sits alone now. tapping his foot and glancing up every few minutes, waiting for her to reappear.

ache.

My bones ache to be in proximity to yours.

Is it cool with everyone if I post random things I've just jotted down that really make no sense? Ok.

fingers almost touch
cinder block scrapes
on the back of your hand
speechless
air that is too warm
and dust that grabs
at our throats
blink
to clear the
sentimental thoughts.